Jimmy Del Ponte
On The Silly Side
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Even though we dodged a bullet last week with that phantom storm that never happened, I've had enough of winter. As far as snow is concerned, we have been lucky (or unlucky if you ask my DPW and snow plowing friends). I'm tired of the high heating bills and the fact that my feet haven't been warm since September. I keep losing my stupid gloves. I'm running out of snow melt and having to leave the warmth of my living room to walk the dog pretty much makes me whimper. I have had it with trying to do that little balancing act on the sheets of ice that cover some peoples sidewalks - who didn't shovel off the snow when it was shovel-able - it has now transformed into a treacherous walk from hell (frozen over, of course).
Why watch the Winter Olympics? Just take a walk down to Davis Square and you will see some true winter sports. Here are some categories: The uphill parking meter climb (putting quarters into meters surrounded with snow). The mad dash for the closest parking space to the store entrance when the wind is whipping you in the face. And then there's my personal favorite - the arm flailing/butt plant. If I don't see a robin soon I am going to start talking to myself (even more than I do already).
Warming up the car has become a pain - I don't have an automatic car starter. Every morning the kids compete to see who calls "shotgun" first, because the front passenger side has a seat warmer. It is an every day, annoying occurrence. Then I have to listen to "he had shotgun yesterday..." The two brand new pairs of boots I bought for Sasquatch and Bigfoot are at the top of the stairs acting as dangerous obstacles. I think they wore them once.
I'm sick of saying to my kids, "where's your hat?" and "zip up your coat." I'm sick of being cold. Even as I am typing this column, there is a draft coming through the improperly installed window. I need Spring to be here and thank God it is on its way. The days are getting lighter earlier, and that's very optimistic. I know I sound like a crybaby complaining about Winter. I mean, Spring always comes sooner or later. I suppose the older I get, the more I look forward to nicer weather. I would like to see pine needles on the ground instead of rock salt. I would rather see a mosquito than my own breath.
Warmer weather will mean camping, barbecues, outdoor parties and trips to cottages. I hope I can get the air conditioning in my truck finally fixed. The place I took it, in their infinite automotive expertise, determined that the problem was the condenser. I bought a condenser, and, you guessed it...not the problem. So if they don't make it right (free of charge) I will kick it up a notch, and you may read about it here.
So as you can see, I am ready for Spring. I am tired of winter hats messing up my hair. Let's face it, once you put that hat on your head, your "do" is done (unless you have a wiffle, a crew cut, the "Larry Fine" or the "Kojack").
The good news is that the Valentine's Day window decorations are coming down, and the St. Patrick's Day stuff is going up. As I am writing this, the meteorologists are talking snow, but I'll believe it when I see it.
Join me at Amelia's Kitchen in Teele Square every Thursday night from 7pm to 9pm as I play piano, sing songs and act silly. You never know who you will meet at Amelia's! You can email Jimmy directly at jimmydel@rcn.com.
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