I am a proud citizen of Somerville. Sometimes I feel like I am a member of an elite group of lifelong 'Villens (50 years in the same house, 56 years in Somerville) who keep a watchful eye on things around the city in the course of my day. I am the guy who screams "slow down" whenever a car is speeding. I yell at the law breakers who whizz down Raymond Avenue the wrong way between 2pm and 3pm when it becomes a one way for the safety of the West Somerville Neighborhood School students and their families. And (you know who you are) why do you gun it and speed up Raymond Ave after you get your kids? There may be still be people trying to cross the street as you are doing 45 in a school zone. Believe me, we are all very impressed at the speed of your vehicle! | |||
I have a few tips and pointers for all of you who live here, whether you are lifers or you have just recently discovered the coolness of Somerville. Mind you, these are just the thoughts of one man. We have an awesome city that keeps getting better every day, so I have compiled some of my own little opinions on how we can live together better.
When someone lets you cut in front of them in traffic, say, for example, I stop at 8:15am in the morning to let you pull out of the Dunkin Donuts parking lot, you should at least give me a nod, a hand signal or a beep. You should not just continue to talk on your cell phone acting like it was an honor for me to stop and be courteous to you. I always stop to let people cut in front of me, and I'll tell ya, not even half say thank you.
When you are running in your spandex pants down College Avenue with your big dog in tow, and I get out of your way to let you "run" on the side-"walk," I expect a nod or some kind of thank you - jerk.
I expect not to see a smooshed pile of dog crap in the middle of the sidewalk. I expect you, the dog owner to pick it up (unless there are stray dogs running amuck in the city at night). It makes all of us dog owners look bad when we are walking our pooches - and someone looks at us like we could be the culprit who left the messy deposit. Also, please (I have harped on this before as well) don't let your big goofy dogs run around Powderhouse Park without their leashes. Can't you read? ALL DOGS MUST BE ON A LEASH AND CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR DOG. Several times one of these dogs ran over and scared the living crap out of my dog and me. It's the leash you can do. Some people just think they are above the law.
The stop signs at the rotary have been put there for a reason. You are supposed to stop. A bus sped recklessly down College Ave from Tufts doing around 50 and blew right across the rotary onto College Ave. When I beeped, the driver stopped. I thought he was going to let me go in front of him seeing how he ran the stop sign and cut me off...I proceeded slowly in front of him and he gunned the gas and cut me off - almost forcing me into the new Dunkin Donuts at the corner. That guy definitely needs to look into anger management (maybe I will join him LOL!).
This next one is very important, so pay attention...do not assume that just because you have entered a crosswalk that the cars are going to automatically stop for you. Some drivers are preoccupied with cell phone conversations, texting sessions and yelling at the kids in the back seat. You must receive an acknowledgment of some kind (again with the nod, hand gesture or beep) or just wait for the vehicle to actually stop before you proceed across the street. Sometimes even when we are paying strict attention to the road we do not see pedestrians in crosswalks, especially at night.
Stop tossing your losing scratch tickets on the sidewalk. "Litterbug, litterbug, shame on you...look at the terrible thing you do!"
Here's a good one. If you are bad mouthing someone in a group of other people, you can be sure that someone in that group is going to tell the person that you were trashing him. It happened to me recently. Someone was declaring their dislike of my personality, or me being outspoken, or my excessive public visibility, or my involvement with all things Somerville...and a true friend of mine ratted them out to me. This person is all sweet and nice to my face, then behind my back talks ragtime about me. In Somerville, we have many, many friends. Everyone can't possibly like everyone else. But don't put them down in front of other people, because it will definitely get back to them. As we say...it will come back to bite you in the butt!
This is the same reason you can't flip the bird or swear out your car window to someone in traffic. 8 times out of 10, the person you are flipping off is going to be someone who knows you or who knows who you are. We are all supposed to be courteous on the road (like that happens) anyway. Go down the Powderhouse rotary at 8am and see how much courtesy you find!
How about when you are in your car driving and there is a jogger running between you and the row of parked cars! Sometimes they are running toward you! These are careless daredevils who throw caution to the wind. They put other people's lives in danger, not only their own. I guess some people will risk life and limb to get that workout in. They act like they are invulnerable. I wonder if they know how distracting, stress inducing and nervous it makes us drivers. Running in the street? At rush hour? Are you kidding me? My heart starts doing somersaults as I approach one of these nuts. As I am trying not to pin them between my car and the row of parked cars on my right, I have to creep further over to my left, which means I am almost in the other lane. So, I have the chance of hitting an oncoming car or sandwiching the running menace to society - it's quite disturbing. It scares me and the drivers in the oncoming lane. Hey, haven't you met Martin? Martin up!
We are not impressed with your BMWs, Saabs or Land Rovers, so wipe the smug smirk off your face as you pass us in our old Tahoe's and run down Ford Taurus's. We are however impressed by your Cadillac Escalades, Lincoln Navigators, Corvettes, Mustangs, Camaros and Irocs.
Let's all try to respect our city and our fellow 'Villens. Don't go around acting like you are better than anyone else because we are just laughing at you! Wipe that stuck-up look off your face and smile. Treat others with respect and courtesy, especially behind the wheel. Watch out for our elderly, who may take a little longer crossing the street. And slow down for crying out loud.
Please find A Haitian Earthquake Relief Fund and give generously, and please pray for them.
Drive slowly or walk cautiously to Amelia's Kitchen at 1137 Broadway in Somerville's Teele Square. Your gracious host Delio and I will try to entertain you. I will be singing with my piano supplying the songs and the comedy, while Delio will offer the fettuccine and eggplant. Every Thursday from 7pm to 9pm. You can email Jimmy directly at [email protected].
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