Trying to find my way through life – with a happy Medium

Reality Bites By James Norton

(The opinions and views expressed in the commentaries of The Somerville News belong solely to the authors of those commentaries and do not reflect the views or opinions of The Somerville News, its staff or publishers.)

OK so this is one of THOSE Reality Bites where members of my family cringe because I am going to ramble about my personal life - even though I always think nobody bothers to read my ramblings – so who cares what I write about.

So here we go. Without being too personal, let’s just say I have had some guilt and unresolved emotional issues I have been carrying inside me for the better part of the last 10-plus years.  Most of them revolve around a certain person who was in my life in a big way for many years and who was my closest friend until she was killed in an accident 11 years ago.

I have been trying to visit her grave and let go of some of the unresolved emotional stuff, but quite frankly, haven’t been able to get past the front gate.  That’s not good when you’re trying to deal with other emotional issues in your life – mostly relationship based – and you can’t get someone else out of your head.  I hope that makes sense.

I have managed to talk somewhat about the situation with a few very close friends, my parents and my therapist, but I wasn’t getting anywhere, and it has been very frustrating to me.  That changed the other night.

Now I am not the type of person who has a “revelation” and runs to the roof, grabs a megaphone and shouts out to the masses, but I definitely feel motivated enough to write about it here. What am I dancing around you might ask?

It was suggested to me that I sit with a medium who might be able to “channel” the person who has passed on, and maybe I could get some closure or whatever it is I have been looking for.  I was a bit skeptical, so was my therapist, but my friends were very supportive, and it was one of them who made the appointment, picked me up and took me there, waited for me and even paid for it. So I went with an open mind, but with some preconceived notions about what was going to happen (or not happen).

It started off a little strange and earthy crunchy for my tastes with the candles, the rocks and the patchouli, but. I went out with a woman once who was very into that stuff so it wasn’t completely foreign to me. So I went with the flow right out of the gate.  There was minor chit chat at the beginning, some questions about me, why I was there, what I do for a living, etc – but nothing too revealing I kept my cards close to the vest so to speak.

Then she started flipping a few cards, explained what they meant and finally came the time to “channel” my friend, the part that would be next to impossible for me to buy into. The chatter began, and it was pretty benign to start off with, which I expected, a couple of close “guesses” I was calling them in my head.  All of a sudden, she hit me with something my friend supposedly said to her to tell me, something that I never told anyone on the planet about, ever. The exact basis for the guilt and unresolved emotional issues that tie me to this person.

There were a few other items she mentioned that I hadn’t told another person on the planet, but this one particular bit of information was so deeply personal and private that only my friend and I would have known it. And that’s when I was convinced that there really was something special and much to benefit from by sitting with a medium.  I can only hope that other people who might not consider this type of thing normally approach it with an open mind.

It worked for me, because I feel like a weight has been taken off my shoulders, finally.

Comments

[Psychic lady]

Dear James, I'm glad you finally were able to listen to her. There is so much more out there than people realize.
A friend who cares about you.

[Good For You]

Jamie,
I'm really happy that you've been able to find some peace. God Bless, pal.

[brickbottom]

That's great JN, I am happy for you.

If you don't mind, when you have a chance, can you give me her name and info by e-mail?

Thanks.

[Kate]

James - I applaud your revealing this publicly; it's a brave thing to do, which tells me that every word is true. I think it's also a very generous thing that you've done, by telling us all of this. I believe that men, particular, are resistant to seeing a therapist, resistant to admitting to and expressing deep emotions to anyone, much less a stranger.

I hope your story shows some of us that it's a good thing to do for oneself in seekig the help that would bring us comfort and understanding of ourselves and thereby enrich not only our own lives, but the lives of the people with whom we have personal relationships.

I'm glad that you've found some peace and that you have such nice people in your life. I also hope that you're having a nice summer with your daughters.

[Skeptic]

James, I'm sorry about the tragedy in your life and I hope you'll get over it soon. But, I'm very skeptical about these kinds of stories involving psychics. Just think about it for a second. Let's assume that the medium got it right and that those events could not have been just guessed because they were too specific. How did she get them right? The RATIONAL explanation is that your friends, those who set up the appointment and told you to go, knew about these facts (either through you, and you forgot about it; or through her, and you did not know they knew; or perhaps they were able to read some diary of yours without you knowing about it; or perhaps they gave her pages from your diary) and set up this nice "channeling" play for you. Nothing wrong with that, friends acted to help you and theater can be very good for people's mental health. But I've got to say something when somebody insults our intelligence by implying supernatural events of this sort that can be explained quite simply in a rational manner. Good luck!

[Melinda]

See Jamie, it does work huh!!!

Now when you are able to see the ones from the "Other Side" you truly will be a believer.

[abbacadaaronahahanewmanagagisahahhagod]

Next you are going to say the Jesus is real and there is a god. Simple person you are. I am an expert on just about everything having gone to Tufts and read many books on the subject. My research shows that there is no god and no after life and anyone who believes this should be put in jail for being crazy. There is only one true thing, Science. Your crazy, very crazy and Ron Newman is the only thing closest to God. All hail Ron Newwman, all hail Ron Newman for he is the alpha and the omega.

[Bill Shelton]

Jamie,

I don't care if the method was a medium, a therapist, Druidic ritual, or a vision quest. I'm just pleased that you have found some peace. God bless.

The paralyzing distress that we carry around after traumatic experiences is so powerful that we often confuse those feelings with what is happening in present time and miss what is here for us. Keep on doing whatever works.

[CheechChong]

Dude, you got any more of what you were smoking before that "meeting"? I need some.... baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

[Democracy]

Although I sympathize with James, I also fully agree with Skeptic. Abbawhatever, if you can rule out that the psychic found out about these events from James's friends or via some other perfectly natural means, please share this information with us. The fact that his friends found the psychic, set up the appointment and convinced him to go IS a little suspicious to anybody with a semifunctioning brain.

[thenoseknows]

hmmm, let me get this straight. jesus is not real and their is no god.i am a simple person. you are an expert on all things. you went to tufts and read many books.there is no god and no afterlife. i should be put in jail(do you know for how long)? for being crazy.the only true THING, is Science. i am very very crazy.hey all i can say is thank you very very much for the life altering blog. i owe my life to you and the internet. thanks again Ron Newman.

[Conservation of Matter Theory]

nose,
Matter cannot be created or destroyed, only converted. I didn't have to go to Tufts to learn that.

With that being said, how did all matter be created in the beginning. It's a leap of faith but I'm sure you and I will be in church on Sunday... just in case.

Regards

[Democracy]

Even if matter was "created" in the beginning, that does not imply that the dead speak to psychics. Nosey, go ahead, blow your savings on psychics and astrologists, who cares? Follow your delusional fantasies! Just don't expect others to believe in them. And when you get cancer, pray your god instead of going to a doctor.

[Conservation of Matter Theory]

If it helps other people to understand and cope, what does it matter to you?

Odd that someone who goes by the name 'Democracy' should be so adamantly opposed to free thought.

I'm glad it worked for you, James.

See you in church, nose.

[Democracy]

Hmmm, I just said that nobody cares if you follow your delusional fantasies, just don't expect others to believe in them.

[brickbottom]

Let's look at a few relevant quotes from Scientists.

"If we have eyes to see, the anthropic principle will speak to us of the signs of God's purpose present in the remarkable potentiality with which our universe has been endowed in the basic ground of its physical process. (John Polkinghorne, physicist) A Potent Universe, in Evidence of Purpose, 1994, p. 115."

"Modern physics and cosmology impact in a number of ways upon our understanding of a God who purposefully creates and sustains the world. (Russell Stannard, physicist) in Evidence of Purpose, 1994, p. 90."

"The origin of life appears to be almost a miracle, so many are the conditions which would have to be satisfied to get it going. (Francis Crick, Nobel prize winner, biochemist) Life Itself, 1981, p 88. Note: my understanding is that Crick is an Agnostic."

"If we could play God, and select values for these natural quantities at whim by twiddling a set of knobs, we would find that almost all knob settings would render the universe uninhabitable. Some knobs would have to be fine-tuned to enormous precision if life is to flourish in the universe. Paul Davies, Evidence of Purpose, 1994, p. 49. Note: my understanding is that Davies is an Agnostic."

"It is in that province (speaking of the fundamental constants of nature) that we find the most surprising evidence for a grand design. (Paul Davies, physicist) God and the New Physics, 1983, p. 187. Interpolation within parentheses."

"In some mysterious way, God is the creator of all the living forms in the evolutionary process, and particularly in homin persons, each with the conscious selfhood of an immortal soul. (A Theistic Evolutionist, John C. Eccles, Nobel Prize winner, physiology, medicine) Evidence of Purpose, 1994, p. 132."

"Nevertheless, just as I believe that the Book of Scripture illumines the pathway to God, so I believe that the Book of Nature, with its astonishing details, the blade of grass, the Conus cedonulli, or the resonance levels of the carbon atom also suggest a God of purpose and a God of design. And I think my belief makes me no less a scientist. (Owen Gingerich, astronomer) Evidence of Purpose, 1994, p. 23."

This (above) is just a representative sampling of quotes from scientists.

[All Knowing Progressive]

Excuse me brickbottom, there is no god. God is an idea created by man to explain things like why the sun goes down. We are a product of evolution and as we evolve, we will eventually all become gay. So due to this, we should let gays marry. This is my credo, I am a progressive now never speak again because I don't agree with you and know more. Go Rebekkkaaahh and Marty!!!!!!!!!

[Go Figure]

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

William Shakespeare, "Hamlet"

I choose God.

[Technophile]

Brickhead, good job; anybody can use Google, go to an out of context quote site and copy and paste. I had tea with Crick weekly for years, I know very well what he thought, thanks.
Explain to us why Bob does not heal terminal cancer patients. And explain why Bob allows your loved ones to die in stupid accidents. And explain why Bob allows bridges to fall. Very basic questions for which you have only pathetic answers, at best.
Regarding science, to be consistent, you should not use any technology that is based on it. You should just pick up a stone, pray Bob and be able to use your stone as a cell phone. But you are inconsistent and instead use the products of science.

[Democracy]

Exactly, Go Figure. Good luck.

"...people who claim to believe in god do not really do so. They just wish to believe in god. They somehow feel that their lives are meaningless without god, so they choose to close their eyes to evidence against the existence of god. "

[Bill Shelton]

To the agente provocateur posting as abbacadaaronahahanewmanagagisahahhagod and All Knowing Progressive:

No one here is fooled by your provocation. You have to be a little more subtle if you want people to imagine that you are an arrogant prorgressive and, therefore, hate all progressives a little bit more.

Better yet, why don't you say what you really believe on the subject, as every one else here is doing, no matter their position on the subject?

Failing that, why don't you draw a telephone on your abdomen and dial a help line with a carving knife?

[Democracy]

Bill, I agree, the parody in those posts is so obvious as to make one wonder about the mental fitness of the posters.

[Go Figure]

Bill,
Don't let them get you down. Your telephone comment was pretty funny, but your better than that. I don't think there was a single person who thought that was a real post.

Keep up your good work, Bill.

[Bill Shelton]

Go Figure,

Please consider me to be admonished and uplifted. The Lord moves in mysterious ways.

[thenoseknows]

ok democracy, so to get back to square one...jn is feeling much better..and ill go on record as saying that i do believe that the dead speak to people, not exclusively phychics,just normal everyday people, ive never been to one, probably never will.ive already had an experience like jn but not with a phychic.if you think im delusional i dont care, who are you.and if i get cancer, im not afraid of death,if i die today ill die happy.but ill reserve the right to go to a doctor...and also to pray.....FOR YOU.

[Democracy]

Hey, I'm open to evidence of communication with the dead. So far, I have not seen any evidence, anywhere. Just people closing their eyes to more obvious explanations and insulting those who simply question them. Obviously, you cannot do better than that.
And with regard to prayer, IT DOESN'T WORK. We even wasted millions of dollars that could have spent on something serious to test that brilliant hypothesis.

--
Ann Behav Med. 2006 Aug;32(1):21-6
Are there demonstrable effects of distant intercessory prayer? A meta-analytic review.
Masters KS, Spielmans GI, Goodson JT.

Department of Psychology, Syracuse University, NY 13244-2340, USA. kemaster@syr.edu

BACKGROUND: The use of alternative treatments for illness is common in the United States. Practitioners of these interventions find them compatible with personal philosophies. Consequently, distant intercessory prayer (IP) for healing is one of the most commonly practiced alternative interventions and has recently become the topic of scientific scrutiny. PURPOSE: This study was designed to provide a current meta-analytic review of the effects of IP and to assess the impact of potential moderator variables. METHODS: A random effects model was adopted. Outcomes across dependent measures within each study were pooled to arrive at one omnibus effect size. These were combined to generate the overall effect size. A test of homogeneity and examination of several potential moderator variables was conducted. RESULTS: Fourteen studies were included in the meta-analysis yielding an overall effect size of g = .100 that did not differ from zero. When one controversial study was removed, the effect size reduced to g = .012. No moderator variables significantly influenced results. CONCLUSIONS: There is no scientifically discernable effect for IP as assessed in controlled studies. Given that the IP literature lacks a theoretical or theological base and has failed to produce significant findings in controlled trials, we recommend that further resources not be allocated to this line of research.

[James Norton]

hey everyone -

thanks for the kind words, seriously. i am the first to be skeptical about everything under the sun - i will NOT go into the particular nugget of information that was communicated to me on this weblog - BUT - if any of you want to hear what it was and the circumstances, you will certainly understand why it impacted me the way it did.

i will be in the news office tuesday from 11am until 6pm-ish - any of you can call there and i will be more than happy to explain.

enjoy whats left of the weekend - im going to "Somervilla" right now - and wont be back until tuesday morning - ciao!

JN

[LA LA Land]

I am very glad for you Jamie. I think if everyone could just keep an opened mind they too might be a little better off.
See you in LA LA land, I will be waiting.

[Anonymous]

JN, I'll give you a call on Monday. But I'll pretend to be brickbottom. I REALLY want to know the details of your personal life and what psychics you are seeing! Talk to you later.