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July 05, 2007

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Dr. Mrs. McCarthy

Your Royal Editorship,

For God's sake stop sucking up to me in your articles. It's embarassing. So glad to see that your "issues"(that's legalese for children: I once date Oliver Wendell Holmes) are back in the country and you continue to work on your parenting skills. Good for you Pumpkin!!!! You know that old kettle-stirrer Somerspeak started that whole damn discussion about the Fourth expenses. Old Somer has a way of getting the fringe elements all hot and bothered. But he/she has a point. Our very own Slick Dick Joe would have all of us think that it did'nt cost us one red cent. But this is Cambriville and to have our very own Snake Oil salesman Mayor certainly fits with our image.

Now, about the vacation plans. I wish I could accept your invite to partake in a luxurious getaway in the land of malaria, mokey-pox and discentary, but camping in Moultonborough(or anywhere for that matter) with half the population of Cambriville is about as appetizing as the bar food at Powder House Pub at 12:00am on any given Friday payday night. Sorry, Sweetums, it's the Hamptons for this sun goddess.

These new (im)posters are making my head spin. I really can't make heads or tails out of half of what they say. Except for Butters Newman. I actually think I'm starting to understand him. God help me. Get the Haldol.

Listen Lovey, I'm gonna take a break from campaigning for Mayor(Scirroco? Brimmer? Curtatone? MY ASS)and jet on down to LI for a little bit. Spending the weekend with the Bush Klan and Vlad Putin has given me a bad case of the shakes.(politics and Stoli just do not mix, especially on a freakin fishing boat in the middle of the Atlantic).

I'll be checking in now and then. A tout a l'heure, mon cheri.

Long Island Bound,

Dr. Mrs McCarthy
Mayoral Candidate and Goddess of Cambriville and the Hamptons.

Dr. Mrs. McCarthy

Pumpkin,

I almost forgot. Some of the girls up here at LSOP(that's Little Sisters of the Poor for the uninitiated)once again attended the Family Fund Day last weekend. And once a again, the event they all wait for, the dunking of the Mayor, was a little disappointing. The girls wait all year to see the Italian Stallion come out of the tank, T shirt and shorts clinging tightly to those rippling muscles and then, and then, and then............... Well let's just say the girls came away again talking about the Mayor's shortcomings.

Ciao Bella,

Dr. Mrs. McCarthy

Somerville Resident

Do you mean that the Mayor has a beer belly and sagging abdominal skin? Yeeeww....

Tricky

Special to Cambriville News:
KAT POWERS, DOUBLE AGENT?

More tribute from our favorite Fat Kat: the June 29 blog entry at the Farm Team's paper titled "Why Is Somerville Great?", which links to another blog attempting to list 100 reasons why Somerville is great (although the guy peters out around 40-something).

However, in the comments Powers submits items 45 through 100. And this entry midway through her list takes the cake:

80. Whoever Dr. Mrs. McCarthy is.

You got to see it for yourself, I almost died laughing. (Besides, in #84 she calls this a "two-newspaper town")

I

Dear J.N. I guess you only rent? So you don't pay taxes, water bills etc so it don't matter to you does it what it costs as long as you don't have to pay for it.
P.S. Don't JOEY CAKES and CLEAN GENIE also rent?

Dr. Mrs. McCarthy

My Dearest Tricky,

And why pray tell is that so damn funny?

You find it amusing that even the Editor of a competitor rag knows greatness when she sees it?

I'm going to let this one slide. I know having the Tricksters home all summer is a strain on you so I'll chalk that comment of yours up to temporary insanity.

And take it from me Almighty Tricky One, I've been temporarily insane for quite a few years now so I know what it can do to you.

Summer in the Ville,

Dr. Mrs. McCarthy

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