Newstalk for Feb. 28

Is it possible that one of the cities legal minds (we’re trying to be nice) was out one night last week in Union Square at a local eatery/bar and was maybe having a bit too much to drink and was seen being mouthy to a patron or two, and even drove away drunk and stinking of liquor? Is that possible?  This is a small city, funny how rumors get around, you just never know whom you’re talking to do you?   

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Here’s one for the books, so there’s a resident of the city who allegedly reports his car stolen to the police, just to collect the insurance money (and we wonder why our insurance bills are so high here). This is where it gets interesting, he has the car in his garage and he’s in the process of dismantling it, when the local and state police show up and catch him in the act, with all the parts laying around on the garage floor. Seems they were in the middle of a sting, and the owner of the car had a loach devise on his car and when the police were notified of the car being stolen it automatically activated his loach.     This guy should be nominated for the dumbass award so far for 2007. We’re sure there will be some other nominees too though.

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“Ship em out – I don’t care where they come from. Send them back, I don’t want them,” was Congressman Mike Capuano’s, D-Somerville response Wednesday. The subject was, should immigrants who commit serious crimes be deported back to their countries – regardless of their legal status in the US?   “Do I think we should deport illegal and legal immigrants who commit serious crimes?   Absolutely!” he said.  Capuano also said the illegal immigrants who are already in the US should be granted legal status, however.   Just because they arrived in the county illegally does not mean they are terrorists, he pointed out.  We think the Congressman should take a slower ride by Foss Park any morning with a query check computer and run some of the local talent that hangs around there all day.   He could possibly fill up two or three police detention vans and then some!

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What’s new in Ball Square?    Now some would think a Furniture Store in Somerville never mind Ball Square might not be a good idea?  They’re wrong and we were wrong, the items there and prices will knock you over; we predict you will be pleasantly surprised.

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While we’re on the subject, another Ball Square business owner in the process of buying another local eatery/bar got his car towed last week, or maybe it was his girlfriend’s —- which we hear is the third tow from the same spot.    Now we all know the feeling when our cars are towed and its not good, but this guy took it to an extreme.   He was demanding to get his car out without paying, and throwing a lot of various political names around, making a scene to the point the police were called in and then he attempted to drive off the lot without paying.   Lesson number one, throwing political names around and making ridiculous demands won’t work with most, especially a tow company.      

We wonder if that’s how he runs his business, should we go in there and demand to eat for free?  Off course we’d throw some names around as well, but not sure it would help us in the end.    Lesson learned is everyone else has to pay; they should as well, regardless of who you are, shouldn’t make any difference.

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The debate for the three candidates for the special election is coming up fast, next Monday March 5th at the Independent in Union Square, open to the public.   

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The annual “Guns & Hoses” hockey game was this past Sunday night and frankly the Fire Department won 7 to 1, but it looked to us like the fire department held back. Obviously some thought they could have beaten the police by double the score.    Maybe the police will do better next year.

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Who was that DPW employee driving on the sidewalk last week?   We give him credit for aggressive driving but hope he’s careful not to endanger any innocent pedestrians, The commissh, aka Stan, wouldn’t want to deal with that mess.

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Here’s a rumor that’s very secret and on the hush hush: we can’t say where we heard it but there might be a rift between Stan Koty, the Mayor and Alderman Sean O’Donovan. Allegedly, Stan and the mayor are hoping Sean steps down so that someone more cooperative can represent Ward 5. Some say Sean allegedly broke rank with the mayor during the condo conversion controversy and hasn’t been with the “Team” since.   Remember, by the time you read this, these guys may have made up or things may have gotten worse. Like we said there might be a rift, time will tell. 

Comments

[Mole Fan]

I'm sure the Mole can clarify some of these rumors. I am looking foward to a good Friday posting....

[Spellcheck]

A "loach devise"??? Seems fishy. You mean LoJack? Also, it would be a the noun "device," not the verb "devise."

[Spell and spell again]

Also, the printed version of the MaxPak article (not online yet) several times refers to "tracks and tiles" on the future Community Path right-of-way. That should of course be "tracks and ties".

[Cambriville News]

CAMBRIVILLE NEWS
"All the News - As We See It"

INTERNAL MEMO - CONFIDENTIAL

To: Cambriville News Staff

From: Dr. Mrs. McCarthy
Editor In Chief

Re: Somerville News

I was informed earlier this week that Neil McCabe has left the Somerville News to take a position with Al Gezera TV and has left for the Middle East. He will be covering the war in Iraq for the next 3 years.

It is bad news for us here at CN that Jamie Norton, heir apparant to the Norton fortune, has taken control of the helm at SN. Young Norton now holds the title of General Manager and Editor. Kids, this is not good for us. Young Norton is smart, ruthless and will be a fierce competitor. Although he has been known to have occasional cases of severe flatulance, this has not stopped him in his quest to produce the best local newspaper on the planet.

As of this morning, I will be conducting a full productivity review which may result in cutbacks here at Cambriville News. We will all have to tighten our belts here in anticipation of a new look, aggressive reporting, and enhanced revenue strategy that young Norton is sure to deploy.

In the interim, please remember to properly extinguish all doobies in the ashtrays we recently placed in the employee lounge. The freakin carpet looks like shit.

The staff meeting for this week has been cancelled. I'm leaving for Monserrat in the morning. I need rest.

McCarthy

[DickyBird]

I hear a little bit of scandal that the Mayor of our mayor's sister city has been removed from office in Italy. Whether he lost or not I don't know but when your out your out right Jack. Maybe the News or the Nose can find out more facts.

[The Mole]

Dickybird, are you talking about Massimo Magliozzi?

The Mole

[Tricky]

Alright, how did the Farm Team get a hold of a copy of "The Cambriville Guide to Style"? I am referring to the unintentionally hilarious article featuring Sen. Jarrett Barrios and Farm Team editor Katherine Powers visiting the Market Basket on Somerville Avenue and discussing "healthy grub on the cheap". The story featured a recipe co-written by a two-year old, a picture of Barrios appearing to lecture a recondite Powers about lowfat ricotta cheese, and the piece de resistance - Powers referring to herself as a "fat slob".

Not only that, there must have been a copy of the upcoming Cambriville News schedule, because the piece appears to have been egregiously lifted from a list of future CN feature articles such as:

- Rep. Carl Sciortino and DPW Commissioner Stan Koty visit Louis, Boston and other Newbury Street businesses to discuss "Couture et L'homme"

- BOA candidate Marty Martinez and Alderman Bob Trane exchanging hair care tips

- former BOA candidate Kevin Tarpley and Somerville businessman Steve Grossman discuss financial planning

- BOA members Rebecca Geewhiz and Bill Roche on a double date to the Lilith Fair and Wrestlemania

and more. I'm sure Dr. Mrs. McCarthy will ferret out the guilty party at the next staff meeting.

That is all.

[Dr. Mrs. McCarthy]

All Hail the Trickster!!!!!!!!!!

All Hail the Trickster!!!!!!!!!!

Long Live the Trickster!!!!!!!!!!

My Idol!

Dr. Mrs. McCarthy

[Ron Newman]

that was priceless, Tricky. Keep it up.

[At Last]

Powers referring to herself as a "fat slob".
The farm team got one right.

[Tricky]

RETRACTION

It was erroneously reported that a future Cambriville news feature would be about BOA members Rebecca Geewhiz and Bill Roche on a double date to the Lilith Fair and Wrestlemania.

Instead, Geewhiz will spend an entire day with Cambriville News majordomo Jamie Norton. In addition to the Lilith Fair and Wrestlemania, Geewhiz and Norton will also visit Club Passim and the Foxy Lady in Brockton.

The News regrets not identifying the obvious punchline in its earlier edition.

Also, next Tuesday night join hosts Bill White and Dr. Mrs. McCarthy at a randomly selected Dunkin' Donuts in Somerville for another round of "What's in Carberry's now?" Winners will each receive a gift certificate for a free lunch at O'Naturals.

[Dr. Mrs. McCarthy]

My Dearest Tricky,

Uh, sweetums, O'Natural on Elm went the way of the Someday. Poof! Gone! Don't know if they relocated but the smell of tofu and sprouts on Elm is no more.

Write yourself a check for the past two posts. Lovin it.

Dr. Mrs. McCarthy

[Ron Newman]

Closed late last year. Now a Boloco. Tofu is still served on request.

[Dr. Mrs. McCarthy]

Jamie,

For Christ's sake, what's with the colors changing? You could warn us that you're bored this afternoon and doing this. JMJ I thought I was having a freakin stroke.

I like it though. Carry on.

And Butters,

What did I tell you about strolling through Davis Square without your coat on. I know you want to start showing off your newly toned bod, but you'll catch your death of cold. It's not even Saint Paddy's Day you damn fool.(Note to Self: Hitch a ride up to Manchester NH some day this week and pick up the old GStout).

The Ice Lady Melteth,

Dr. Mrs. McCarthy

[Who]

If that legal mind is a nuckle head what else is new? He is just a fool.

[the nose that knows]

To all my brothers in the Union. M.B. is dirty & he is selling us all down the drain, for his own benifits. Why are you letting this happen?

[William Hurst]

Could it also be that a certain city solicitor and a politico to be named later love to go skiing together.