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January 23, 2007

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Neil?

Isn't Frankie going to kick his Ass next time he sees him?

City Hall Nose

Naw, Frankie is too busy driving his shimmering new 2007 White Shelby Mustang. Christmas came early this year for The Skipper. I guess it pays huh Frankie?

Cambriville News

CAMBRIVILLE NEWS
Wednesday January 23, 2007

SPECIAL OSCAR EDITION.............

The nominees for the 2006 Oscars are in. While there was some disagreement among the staff this year about our picks, we used the old dart board and came up with the following.

The 2006 Oscar Nominees are:

The Somerville Bored of Alderpeople - "Babel"

James Kostaras and Scott Trant - "The Departed"

Alderperson Rebba Geewiz - "Little Miss Sunshine"

The Mole - "Notes on a Scandal"

Former Veterans Affairs Director Frank Senesi - "Letters from Iwo Jima"

Alderperson Bob Trane - "Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Cambriville"(varry goood!)

DPW Commish Stan Koty - "The Last King of Cambriville"

Dr. Mrs. McCarthy - "The Devil Wears Prada"

Jehlen, Provost, Barrios and Sciortino - "Dreamgirls"

Mayor Joe "Tickets" Curtatone - "The Pursuit of Happiness"

The Somerville School Committee - "Little Children"

A special Oscar this year will go to DPW Commish Koty for his screenplay of:

"Stan's Labyrinth"

Well that's all we got this year. Readers should feel free to add to the list at anytime before the awards ceremonies. This year's festivities will again take place at the nearly finished "Joseph A. Curtatone Center for the Performing(Dark) Arts"(the old Armory) or at the newly refurbished Dilboy Stadium(please God don't let it rain)

Next Week in "Cambriville Cooks" - Cambriville's newest literary giant, Neil McCabe, will whip up his favorite Italian meal of braised, fried and skewered "Saint Angelo's Flank Steak".

Born Here

LOL.....very funny !!

Jolly Roger

To the editor: Cambriville News,

I nominate Bill Shelton, esteemed graduate of Yale and presumed member of the elite and highly secretive Skull and Bones, and master of behind-the scenes intrigue and intel, for "The Good Shepherd".

tiffany

The only Frank in McCabe's life is Frank's Steak House.

And the winner is.....

I'd like to nominate the Cambriville News for 'Best Original Screenplay'. That was the funniest thing I've read in a long time!

Yorktown Street

No one nominated anyone for "The Illusionist"?

I love the Skipper, and Naughty Girls

I love the skipper and his toys. Don't hate the player, hate the game. Skip you never called me that day. I was heart broken.

I love the Skipper, and Naughty Girls

I love the skipper and his toys. Don't hate the player, hate the game. Skip you never called me that day. I was heart broken.

thenoseknows

so let me get this straight. frankie bot a new car,and i must say they arent that expensive as cars go,and city hall nose,who stole half my name, is jealous. so go buy yourself a new car. who cares. the guy works for the city, so do you,you maybe both do a half assed job,and we all know 50% from a municipal employee ranks you at the top as far as performance goes.
im thinking i get a city job.i have 4 cars and 2 motorcycles. does that make me a bad guy? i guess it does. why dont you get your city hall nose a stick it to your desk and maybe get some work done for once instead of taking other peoples inventory.

somervilleoldtimer

I nominate all the people who left strategic planning department for "happy feet"

Cambriville News

CAMBRIVILLE NEWS
FROM THE BED OF THE EDITOR............

TO: Somerville Old Timer, Yorktown and Jolly Roger

FROM: Dr. Mrs. McCarthy

SUBJECT: Oscar Nominations


Your submission is great. Consider it done. Happy Feet.......I love it.

And to Yorkie and Jolly, sorry it took so long. Your nominations will also be included. Yorkie, besides the obvious(Mayor Joe), anybody else you would like to see nominated for "The Illusionist"?

Keep em comin kids..............

"Cambriville News - It's news to us."

Born Here

how about the RW and his friend MH in "Happy Feet" ? Dancin all the way to the bank !

Frank

"The only Frank in McCabe's life is Frank's Steak House."

what about somerville singer songwriter ADFRANK?

William Hurst

Another Capuano in government how nice. When did Deval become a republican? Or could it be Deval Curtatone is in charge or is it Joe Patrick. Maybe it's me but I thought the new Gov was putting an end to this B.S.

The Mole

BIG BROTHER SEASON 9

~~~ RiNg RiNg RiNg ~~~

Boss Hog: Hi, is Mike there?
Mike B: Yeah, this is Mike,
Boss Hog: Hey Mike, it’s Boss Hog.
Mike B: Wat’z up Stankley?
Boss Hog: How many times have I told you that you need to do your job and stop riding around with Tom B?
Mike B: What’s up with that Shit Hog?
Boss Hog: You’re not doing your job when you ride all day long around with Tom B.
Mike B: I’m doing my job so back off Fat Boy.
Boss Hog: that kind of attitude will get you on the street just like the rest of the, Tommy V; Barbara and Joe V.
Mike B: Are you threatening me Hog?
Boss Hog: You bet I am; now get out there and do your job!
Mike B; This is BS. Joey Cakes put me here to keep two eyes on you. I am going to Joey Cakes.
Boss Hog: Big Deal! He can’t do anything for you. I got him wrapped right here on my fat pinky finger.
Mike B: Oh yea!!! We’ll see. CLICK – hang-up.

With the season opener for the DPW saga, Boss Hog is trying to get into every crack available to him at the DPW throwing his weight around and micro managing. Yesterday the two heavy weights started gnawing at each over job functions. Mike is spending too much time resulting in Tom B not doing his job. As temperatures declined outside over the afternoon hours, temps inside the DPW stage skyrocketed. Hog huffing and puffing from those tar covered lungs, gasping for deep breaths in-between syllables, through the receiver, Mike had to hang up abruptly.

Mike taking the higher road backed off and went scrambling out the door. Stay tuned for the next episode coming to you “LIVE”: from DPW Central.

The Mole

That Guy

I love the Mole u never know what he's gonna say next cant wait for Boss hogg to get a fat Foot up his A$$ and joey cakes to get caught getting a steam job from RW opps did i say that sorry i let the cat out the bag thats right RW is blowing the mayor you heard it here first straight from a reliable sorce stay tuned for more of THAT GUY INVESTIGATES

AnswerGuy

The Mole,

Let's get to the real truth and see how much you really know, here's a few questions for you, let's see how you score on this test...

1.How did Mike Brown get his job?
Answer: Set up Noah to get fired by Tommy V.

2.How does anyone get a job with FAILED drug test?
Answer: It's all who you know not what you know...result, you get guys hitting each other with baseball bats after work.

3.How long are we going to let the union keep making deals with Stankley?
Answer: As long as it take for MB and SK to get everything and anything they want.

4.Why have we seen more people get fired in the last 3-4 years then every before?
Answer: Because SK only lets those he likes or can get something from work for the city, and this includes his son RK.

5.Why does a guy that never leaves the yard get a $60,000 truck?
Answer: Because he's MB and he does all of SK's dirty work, like setting people up and getting the union to sign off on bulls%^t policies.

Tune back in tomorrow for some more interesting questions from the Answer guy. Ans

Cambriville News

CAMBRIVILLE NEWS
Sunday January 28, 2007

Today's Weather - Not all is sunny. Periods of progressive cloudiness.

SPECIAL ADVERTISEMENT SECTION..........

The newest game board craze to hit Cambriville since the popular "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" hit the shelves last week, is on sale now.

The "Six Degrees of Stanley Koty" game follows the pugnatious DPW commissioner on his wild and crazy public service career from his days working for a former State Representative to his often contentious time spent as a member of the Bored of Alderman where he singlehandedly reshaped the city's voters list, to his romances in the halls of power on Beacon Hill while working for the late Senator Charles Shannon. You'll howl with laughter and gasp with surprise as you try to connect the dots to the distinguished list of Cambriville's "Who's Who" list. See how this Lord of the Dance is owed something by almost everyone on almost every board and almost every business owner across the city.

As a surprise bonus with your purchase of "Six Degrees of Stanley Koty",($150.00 US, $300.00 Canadian) we'll send you a carton of the beautifully debossed Crane's number 6, legal size, plain white envelopes.

Don't miss out on this limited time offer. City 311 operators are standing by now to take your phone order.(our credit card processor, TJX cannot guarantee the safety of your personal information). You may also purchase your "Six Degrees of Stanley Koty" game at the DPW Water Department, any of the Traffic and Parking clerks on Holland Street, the DPW Inspectional Services desk, and at the newly installed "Six Degrees of Stanley Koty" gameboard pushcart at the Assembly Square mall.

CASH ORDERS ONLY. BUY NOW. SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next Week in Cambriville........ At Bickford's Free Buffet next Tuesday, The Honorable Ron "Butters" Newman will discuss his new work of fiction, "Progressive Nation: The Ultimate Goal".


AnswerGuy

The Answer Guy is back with a few more for those keeping score at home...

1. What happened to Tommy V. after Noah got run out and MB got his job.
Answer: He was screwed over by MB and lost his job.

2. What happens when you don't make a donation to the Stankley WHITE Envelope Fund?
Answer: You get run out of town like Joe V.

3. Why would a sanitation inspector withdraw his grievance?
Answer: Because SK threatened to fire him if he didn't, it's that simple...

Tune back in tomorrow for a few more interesting questions....

Sincerly,
The Answer Guy

The Mole

I like the Answer Guy. He is a walking encyclopedia of facts.

The Mole

Who Took Out Nomination Papers?

Who is Officially running by taking out papers for the Alderman at Large Special election?

I expected the News to be checking on this daily and letting us know as each candidate pulls papers.

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